January 28, 2011

Harley has been struggling with going outside. She doesn't like to get up because her rear legs bother her so much, and give out on her. She has accidents on her pillows, which I have lined with plastic and sheets. Additionally, she is crying at nighttime. I've been sleeping on the floor with her again.

Therefore, I decided, thanks to my parent's continuous guilt-trip, that it would be best to put her to sleep.

When I told my boss, Neelie, that I needed the day off to spend with Harley before putting her to sleep, her response was, "we are too busy." I, the person, who rarely cries, burst into tears! She kepts saying ridiculous things like, why don't you do it on your way home, can't they do it a diferent day, etc. I should have said, "would you like me to get it done on my lunch hour?...Oh, I forgot that we don't get a lunch hour!!!!" Well, she if the official Tin Man...definitely has no heart. I'm sure she would feel differently if it was Diego. I cried throughout the day, and about 2 1/2 hours later, she sent me an e-mail telling me to call Shobha to come in. Just ridiculous! I will have to start the job search soon!

Harley
So, I stayed home with Harley on Friday. She's always so perky in the morning, which makes it difficult. I brushed her hair and sat in the entryway with her.

Final Arrangements
I worked on the final arrangements. The Richmond Vet originally told me that they would come to the house for $340, so that's what I decided to do. It's too difficult to take Harley and I didn't want to stress her out. However, they were now telling me that they couldn't come out on "Saturday," so I was trying to figure out when, and after much going back and forth, they told me that they couldn't do it for 2 weeks! That's just ridiculous. They are so close, I don't know why the doctor couldn't come right after they closed.

The other home euthanasia people wanted $500. I was thinking that maybe I should just postpone this. Then, in the evening, she started leaking urine. It wasn't like she had an accident, it was like a fountain that wouldn't stop. My poor girl! I felt that this was the beginning of the end and that maybe her organs were shutting down.

I called "A Peaceful Passage," and asked him to be on call Saturday and I would try to bring her to the Spring Grove Clinic.

Lunch
I ran out to get an oil change, since I never have time with my work schedule to get this done. I picked up McDonald's double cheeseburgers for Harley and Daisy for lunch. The other difficult thing is that she is still eating well (except when I would try to give her medicine!).

Nap Time
Harley and I snuggled and took a little nap in the entryway. I just stayed with her all day.

Sydney
When Syd came home from school, she brought Harley a stuffed "I Love You" heart. She brought me a photo of Harley and I in a frame that says "I Love My Mommy."

Dinner
After dinner, Sydney and I ran to Jewel and got boneless Ribeye's and Beef flavored Rice-A-Roni to make for the dogs. While I was making the steaks, Sydney was supposed to make the Rice-A-Roni, but she didn't even read the directions, and literally through everything in the pan together! I was worried that it wasn't even going to turn out, but it was okay for them. Then, they had Frosty Paws for dessert.

The Last Night
I slept with Harley on the floor, and she must have sensed something because she leaned against me throughout the night and at one point, she put her head across my back. I thought that she was telling me that it was okay.